Competition day is approaching and you’re feeling excited for the big event. Oh. Then you remember that you own a grey. From being constantly covered in grey hair, battling with stable stains and spending hours washing and rewashing the same section of coat, if you’ve ever owned, ridden or cared for a grey horse you will certainly be able to relate to a few of the following…
- Being congratulated for the lovely skewbald in your field and wondering what the person is talking about.
- Having to get up at 5am to re-wash the horse you have already washed at least three times the night before with a variety of shampoos.
- Said grey horse refusing to stand still while you do it — cue you end up wetter than they are.
- Understanding that it’s all or nothing, as washing one dirty patch results in horrible yellow streaks.
- Standing head to head in the field gateway and asking him, in your sweetest voice, not to roll in the muddiest patch when you let him go — and watching as he does exactly that.
- Stable stains are the bane of your life. In fact, you argue that the term stable stain is inadequate because normally at least 75% of your horse is the wrong colour.
- Removing a stable rug to reveal a brown tummy. Every single day.
- Laughing when someone recommends a head and neck cover, bandages and a rug with belly and tail flaps, because you know it’s really not that simple.
- Yellow tails. Enough said.
- Recycling old pairs of tights and using several to protect said tail after hours of washing.
- Fully supporting the idea that hacking out a semi-clean horse is acceptable.
- Wondering why your horse can’t lay on his left side, so that traffic only sees his clean half.
- Chalk is your best friend…
- But the sun isn’t. Copious amounts of sun cream just won’t cut it on pink-skinned greys.
- Molasses gives you nightmares — greys and dark liquids do not mix.
- Wondering what that persistent black stain is on either side of your horse’s tail. Then spying suspicious grey hairs on the field gate.
- Waiting to put on your riding jacket until the very last second for fear of it being covered in grey hairs. They get everywhere.
- Admiring all the black, bay and chestnut horses in your class and thinking how easy their riders’ lives must be.
- Getting cross when your friend complains about the single white sock they have to clean. Ha!
- Arguing until you’re blue in the face that grey is the most beautiful colour, and then realising your filthy grey beast can’t back up that statement right now.
- When everyone else has finished prepping their horses for the following day’s event with the flick of a brush, you haven’t even finished scrubbing one side of your grey’s neck.
- Your horse seems to like rocking that off-yellow tinge.
- You’ve dyed him a multitude of colours with the amount of products you’ve attempted to clean him with. This includes purple shampoo and ketchup.
- You have to dedicate a whole cupboard to these lotions and potions and all things falsely promising a white horse.